why...why am i having to suffer thru this..why doesnt god just take me now....yeahthe cancer is back and its in my brain above my eye and half my face is partialy paralyzed,its my good eye too so i cant see shit i got restraining orders and i still wont quit! i hit rock bottom and fell in a hole then fell some more! every time i look i got shit tookin dont ask cuz they aint lookin,to fuck with me!.......why dont he take mel..why do i have to suffer...2 spinal taps a week...so i think im giving up....now...here after this journal im giving up...no more fighting..im giving in...